Classification Essay

My Friends

As I look back over the last 30 years I can recall many good times with my friends, playing on the playground in Elementary school. Riding bikes and chasing girls in Jr. High School. In high school it was sports, parties and girls. College was about drinking and smoking everything we could get our hands on. After college it was working, buying a house and starting a family. Every memory I think of has a friend attached to it. Looking at those friendships I can see three distinct types of friends. There were my needy friends, my good friends, and my best friends.

The Needy Friend: These are the friends that call you up at three in the morning and want you to bail their ass out of jail because they got to rowdy at the bar, but are too afraid of calling the folks or the wife. These people want to be your friend because you have something that they need or want and they know you will give it to them.  I find these friends to be the hardest ones to get rid of, especially when what they need is a friend because no one else will give them a chance.

When I was young my needy friends were Michael and Tom. They always wanted to come to my house because mom had snacks in the house. They wanted to play my Nintendo and play with my toys.  “Can I use your bike” or “can your mom take us to the Ninja Turtles movie?” In Jr. High they wanted me on their team because I was a better athlete. “Can I borrow five bucks” or “can I copy your math homework?” In High school it was Chris and Joey that were the needy friends. They would ask me for rides to school or too a party. “Can I borrow twenty bucks I’ll pay you back.” or my favorite “Hey bro, ask Jessica if she will go to the movies with me.”  In college Dan was my only needy friend. He would ask me to get him beer or once a job.  “Jeremy buddy I’m a little short this week can you help me out?” “Can you get me into the Bear Brew?”  Now, ten years later the needy ones want me to take their trash to the dump or want to borrow the lawn mower.  “Can you watch the kids tonight”? “Can you help me clean out the garage before the wife gets home”?  Starting to sound familiar yet? 

The Good Friend: These are the guys you call at three in the morning to bail you out of jail when you have gotten to rowdy at the bar and refuse to call the folks or the wife. These are the guys that probably got you arrested in the first place. These are fun people to hang out with and are of the same circle. These friends come and go all the time depending on what stage of life you’re in. I have found that these friends are the most fun to hang out with.

                I've had a lot of these “good friends” over the years, Brett, James, Jeff, and a host of others. We went mudding in the woods, camping, hunting, and fishing. We all rode together in the same limo to the prom, played ball on the same team, and cut class together.  We talked all night and relived the good old days at our high school reunion.  Today “my good friends” are Scott, Brian, and Mike. We take the kids to the park and have family bbq’s together. Friday night is usually poker night unless its hockey season and we are at the rink. We have drinks together and talk about our other halves. We talk about the present, the future and all the crazy shit we did before we knew one another.  We go on trips out of state, go to concerts at the water front, and sporting events together. “Hey man want to grab a brew after work tomorrow”? “Do you want me to help you split that cord of wood on Saturday”? Sounds like a good friend doesn't it?

The Best Friend: These are the guys sitting next to your ass in jail at three a.m.  saying things like “she didn't look like no cop did she?”  These guys usually have been your friend for as long as you can remember. They are the ones who know your deepest, darkest secrets. Like the time I got caught skinny dipping in the neighbor’s pool with Shay. They are the ones you trust to have your back and the ones whose back you have.  They are the friends that were always there for you, are still here for you, and will always be there for you.  

                In grade school Seth and Ben were my best friends and today 25 years later not much has changed. We started cub scouts together and received our Eagle Scout badges together.  In Jr. High we all had Mr. Smith for math class and entertained each other in detention. In high school we were football teammates. Seth was the right tackle, Ben left guard, and I left tackle, a line to be feared the paper said.  In the fall we were teammates yet again on the wrestling mat, Seth at 215, Ben at 152, and I at 189 a trio of champions.  In the summers we all worked together at Elegant Settings, setting up wedding tent, parking cars, and catering. At night we could be found mudding in the woods, drinking beer or playing pool, but always the three amigos.  In college we were separated, but only by a phone call. They were the best men at my wedding and the first to congratulate my wife and I when our first child Nathan was born. I was in Ben’s wedding and will be in Seth’s next June. When I lost a loved one and could hardly stand they held me up and were the ones who made me laugh again. When it was time to throw down I knew they were right behind me. Best friends or as we would say and often do “Country boys forever”.  This is a friendship that has stood the test of time and I have been blessed to have not one, but two of the best friends on the planet, thanks guys.

               

In this paper I set out to classify the friends I've had and have in my life.  We can all identify which of our friends fall into each of these categories, but somewhere I lost sight of the most important friend of all The Soul Mate: The one person whose life matters more than your own, the one person who makes you whole, the one person who stands beside you even when you’re wrong. She is the one who has seen you at your worst and knows all about your best.  I married mine eight years ago and I hope you all meet yours one day.