Process essay timed

The most disgusting and vile creatures I have had to deal with in my life are my wife's two cats Merlin and Ginger! I know what your thinking how can two soft, furry little kitties be so bad. Well the one thing in this world I hate the most is cat piss and you never know where your going to find it. Unfortunately for me I have found it almost everywhere you could imagine. Cats are also impossible to figure out, one minute they want some love and the next they are clawing the shit out of your leg. When you toss them out of your second story window they will just land on their feet and look up at you with a smug look as if to say" ha ha asshole nice try". When you let them outside they just hang around the garage and poop on your tool bench and sooner or later the wife will hear them whine and let them back in asking the whole house "who let the cats out?". I find it best to stay on their good side as difficult as it may be. There are three things I do on a daily basis in hopes of making these two snobs happy. I check their restroom, I give them food,water, and just a little bit of love followed by my secret weapon.

Upon arriving home from work I take a moment to pray that the monsters who occupy the second floor have not peed on anything since I left for work. I briefly go over my battle plan in my head and then make the terrifying journey up stairs to confront my fate. I check the laundry room for signs of pussy and then make my way into my office. After checking the office I head to check point two the master bedroom. After clearing check point two and finding no trace of cat urine I can abandon operation kill the fur ball and report for clean up duty. Once in the master bathroom home to the feline's potty I fire up the cat scoop and proceed to execute operation toxic waste removal. With my gas mask firmly attached or my t-shirt pulled up high enough to cover my nose, I clean out any clumps the dynamic duo have left behind. My next step is to add just a cup full of fresh cat litter to the box. Once I have completed the mission charlie comes in and starts dropping bombs in the freshly cleaned cat box. God for bid it stays clean for two seconds, but at least they are happy and going in the box instead of my clean laundry basket!

While the cats are polluting the cat box I move onto step two, the dealing out of their daily rations. Both Merlin and Ginger get two scoops of Seafood delight. I always feed Merlin first, and his food must go into the blue bowl. Ginger goes next because she is the younger sister and her food must be placed in the pink bowl that displays her name. My wife insists that they each need their own food bowl even though each one has two sides. Neither one of her cats will drink water from the other side of their bowl. Water and food can not be that close to each other I guess it must be a cat thing because my dogs don't give a dam as long as they get their food and water. I could mix the two and they still would be happy. Next I proceed to the watering hole or the bathroom sink which ever you prefer. Like I said they wont drink from their bowls so I must fill the sink with fresh water. The felines don't even drink right for god sake they dip their front paw into the water and then lick it off. So weird. After the feeding both cats expect me to put them through an exhausting PT session. The session lasts for about five minutes and then they must hit the head and report to the barracks (my bed) for lights out. Once they have had there fill of playing and being loved I get a break from cat duty.

After a few hours of R&R the flea bags are full of piss and vinegar. I know because this is usually when they get me via a sneak attack. All of a sudden I can feel sharp claws through my slippers as I send them flying across the room. The bad part of this is they come right back after me with a relentless attack and I'm forced to either stay and fight or retreat back down stairs to the safe zone. Back at the HQ or the kitchen I prepare for war restocking my supplies (sneakers, water bottle, laser pointer) and prepare the secret weapon. Sometimes I even call on my allies (my son Nathan and daughter Maria) for support. I hump it back in about three clicks and unleash hell spraying my water bottle like a machine gun. With my enemies subdued I usually have enough time to deploy my secret weapon CAT NIP or as I call it kitty weed. One taste of the kitty weed and these hairballs are putty in my hand.

I stand over my fallen enemies victorious and I know I have won the battle, but tomorrow is another day and there will be more battles to fight. As long as I have my battle plan and a heavy supply of kitty weed the war will remain within my grasps or at the very least the cats will remain happy for another day and my clothes will remain pee free.

Effect Essay

On November 19th 2005 my son Nathan L. Edwards was born 6 pounds 11 ounces and 20 inches long. Seven years ago today I had no idea what a profound impact he would have on me and my life. How could a newborn baby change a man so much, even help him? Well having my little man has effected me in so many ways. Some of the ways I have been effected by the birth of my son are: I grew up, my priorities changed, and I began to understand why my parents were the way they were.

At twenty-two years old I was a young hell raising son of a gun with no responsibilities. I could go out when ever I wanted, drink all day and night, and spend every last dime I had on whatever I wanted. My young bride and I could make love til the sun came up and went down again. All of that changed in the blink of an eye, the day my baby boy was born. I found myself coming home early and staying in on Saturday night just to be with him not wanting to miss a thing. Cracking open beer cans turned into warming up baby bottles. Partying all night turned into rocking him to sleep all night. Spending all my money on crap turned into working overtime to pay for diapers and formula. Some people say that a boy becomes a man when a man is needed, it was my time to be that man because my wife and brand new baby needed me.

When Nate was born my wife, son Patrick, and I all lived in a small two bedroom trailer in Eddington. It was a good place, but not where I wanted to raise our new family. I was working for a big company making good money, but they did not care at all about me or my family. I took a new job that would bring in more money for my family and provide better opportunities for my family. As a result I was able to spend more time with my growing family. I traded in our small fast compact car for an SUV with more seating, four wheel drive, and more safety. We built a large home out in the country for extra security and more room for the kids to play not to mention we were no longer right on route nine. I started putting money into a retirement fund and saving for his college education. My path had once again changed and I believe for the better.

When I was a kid I never could figure out why mom and dad always had to know where I was going, who I was going with, when I would be back, and weather or not anyone's parents would be home. I did not understand why I had to save my money or why I could not have all the new toys the other kids had. Why was is so important that I eat a good breakfast and all my vegetables at dinner. "Do your homework before you go out and play" mom would tell me. "But mom I'll do it later" would be the reply. "Don't stand to close to the t.v", "go outside that dam video game is going to rot your brain".  I never in a million years would have thought that I would be repeating the words of my parents one day. Today my wife and I can be heard saying most of these lines and many others from our childhood. We do it because we love our kids, want them to be safe, and grow up to be good, responsible citizens. My mother and I talk about stuff like this now that I'm older and have kids. She loves to hear my go on about some of this stuff, she smiles and says to me now you know how we felt raising you and your brother. Mom always said what goes around comes around I guess she was right. Today I understand all to well what I put her through and all I can say is I'm sorry and I'm glad I got blessed with the parents I have.

I am so thankful for all of my children, I don't think there is anything better then having kids although my mother said to me the other day oh yes there is Grand kids! All I know is when you have kids everything else  moves to second place even your spouse. Kids are the only ones who will give unconditional love and deserve it in return. It is our duty as parents to teach them, protect them, and most importantly to love them. To Nathan, Patrick and my Maria thank you for making me a daddy and I'm so very proud to be your daddy I love you.
 

Process Essay draft #1

Another Day in Paradise

Like many people I know I often find myself saying "There just isn't enough time in the day to get everything done". I have a day planner that I carry with me everywhere and everything that I need to get done each day is logged in it. This is the only way I can get through the day without saying "I wish I had more time to get everything done". Everyday for me starts off the same way, my alarm goes off, I get up, go work out, and take a shower. The middle part of the day is broken down into three main parts: Work, Family, School and if I stick to my plan I get almost everything done that I need to get done each day. Like the beginning of my day starts the same way so does the end. Right before bed I brush my teeth, take a leak, and then try to seduce my wife into making love to me, this is my favorite part of the day! 

The first part of my day starts at 6 am as my cell phone plays Knockin On Heavens Door by Gun's n Roses, waking me from my sleep. I drag myself out of bed and head for the weight room, nothing gets the blood flowing in the morning like hitting the weights and listening to some tunes. I kiss my sleeping beauty on the forehead and wish I could fast forward the day so I can be back in bed with her. Soon I'm off to Unity to manage the day to day operations of my families grocery store. I love my 35 minute ride to work listening to Fox News catching up on the daily gossip and whats happening in the world. As soon as I walk through the front door everyone seems to get busy working as if the cat has come back home and the mice must now stop playing. I always head into the break room for my morning cup of coffee and then to the back room to get everyone motivated. Five or six hours of the customer always being right, stocking freight, and listening to the normal associate groins sends me right back out the front door wishing all the while I could be curled up with my baby, but for this cat there is still more to be done. I head over to the post office, accountant or run miscellaneous errands that need to be done. At this point I feel like I should get some lunch so my stomach will shut, but really who has time for lunch, not this cat. I'm off to job number two to check in on my investment properties, collect rents, mow the lawn or fix that leaky sink. I get excited when i'm at the apartment house because now i'm working for myself, i'm the boss. Having completed my "jobs" I can kiss the first part of the day goodbye as I get closer to ending my day and spending some time with the wife.

I pull the truck into my driveway and instantly switch gears from businessman to family man. My two stupid dogs run out of the garage to greet me. I wish dogs could talk because I know these dumb asses are thinking  dads home get the ball gotta get the ball. Ha ha here's the ball come on throw the ball come on throw the ball awwwh he threw the ball!!!! Inside my little princess Maria is awaiting my arrival so I can pick her up and she can touch the ceiling. "Uppie uppie" she says as we complete our routine. Once uppie time is over I must run the gantlet with the boys. They love to wrestle with me and practice their karate skills or some new move they learned from the Power Rangers. I get a welcome home kiss from the misses and my mind instantly races to all the fun we could have if the kids would just run up the road to their grand parents house. Usually pasta is whats for dinner in this house since mamma is an Italiano. Oh how I love the smell of her homemade sauce simmering on the stove with big chunks of meatball and sausage. After dinner I make sure each of our three kids has a bath, brushes their teeth and is safely tucked into bed. As I feed the dogs dinner I often silently thank God for blessing me with such a wonderful family. At this point my tummy is full and I can hear my sleep number bed calling my name" Jeremy you are getting sleepy". "I wish I could go to sleep ass hole, but I got to much to do" I mutter to myself. Making my way to my office past my bed I know that I'm two thirds of the way through my day.

It is now that I must slug down an energy drink in hopes of mustering up enough energy to complete my school work. Crap another essay to complete for Goldfine and accounting for Dr.D I might never get to sleep. Soon the words are flowing and my fingers are typing away. I feel an unusual release of tension as I complete my homework. One word after another, sentence after sentence, and then a completed graf or essay. I hope Goldfine will approve of this piece and Doritty will give another passing grade. Did I do the best I could, will I pass this class. My head fills with doubt and I can feel the tension building as my energy drink wears off. Reviewing my calendar I can see that I have completed the days tasks and fear that tomorrow will yet again be more of the same.

I crawl into bed after brushing my teeth and with a sigh say goodbye to the day hoping that god will bless me with tomorrow. I find peace not in how much I got done during the day, but rather what I did during the day. I have provided for my family, spent quality time with my loved ones, and attempted to enhance my future. Now there is only one thing left to do so I give my wife a nudge nudge and a wink wink and turn out the lights.  IT'S JUST ANOTHER DAY IN PARADISE!!

Process Essay intro#2

Another Day in Paradise

Like many people I know I often find myself saying "There just isn't enough time in the day to get everything done". I have a day planner that I carry with me everywhere and everything that I need to get done each day is logged in it. This is the only way I can get through the day without saying "I wish I had more time to get everything done". Everyday for me starts off the same way, my alarm goes off, I get up, go work out, and take a shower. The middle part of the day is broken down into three main parts: Work, Family, School and if I stick to my plan I get almost everything done that I need to get done each day. Like the beginning of my day starts the same way so does the end. Right before bed I brush my teeth, take a leak, and then try to seduce my wife into making love to me!!

timed effect essay

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as far,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads onto way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence;

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost (1916)

Robert Frost wrote this poem nearly a century ago and it is still inspiring the inspirable today. In 2002 I was a young man of nineteen at a pivotal crossroad in my life searching for answers and direction. This one piece of material has had a profound impact on my life each and every day since the first time I read it in 2002. This poem has affected my life in so many ways and taught me many things; some of them are as follows: 

1) it has taught me to trust and believe in myself no matter what 2) It has taught me that it is better to attempt something great and fail, then to attempt nothing and succeed and 3) it has inspired me not to let my learning lead to knowledge, but rather to let learning lead to action.

1      

      It has taught me to trust and believe in myself no matter what. Self-worth is one of the most important things needed to be happy and successful. Before my experience with Robert Frost I had lost a woman I thought I was in love with. She tore me apart and stole my self-worth, my confidence. This poem helped me to find and rebuild my inner self. It taught me to be strong and to go after what I wanted most. Not long after reading it I found my loving wife Amy. She put me off for months and made it very difficult to get close to her, but I continued the pursuit of what I wanted no matter how tough she made it. I believed in myself and trusted that feeling I had in my gut that she was the one woman god had made just for me. After one year of dating she made me the happiest man in the world when she accepted my marriage proposal. We now have three beautiful children and after almost ten years of marriage she still has that special twinkle in her eye for me. Because of this one poem I have my other half and can live the rest of my life whole.

2  

            It has taught me that it is better to attempt something great and fail, then to attempt nothing and succeed.  In the spring of 2002 I dropped out of college at Keene State College and thought I was destined for some low paying job and that I would never realize my true potential. After reading this poem I realized that at least I had attempted something great. That my parents were proud that I tried to be the first in the family to get a degree. I also learned that we as humans learn more from our failures then from our triumphs. This lesson has inspired me to reach for the stars and to attempt other great feats. Because of this I am taking English 101 at EMCC and seven or so credits shy of being the first one in my family to earn a college degree. I am no longer stupid or fearful of defeat and I will no longer retreat. I will continue to attempt greatness in everything that I do and inspire those around me to compete.

3   

       It has inspired me not to let my learning lead to knowledge, but rather to let learning lead to action. I have always worked for big companies or for someone else and wondered if I would ever get there myself. We are taught in school to work hard, get a college education and get a good job. This poem has inspired me to be a leader, an individual, to take the hard road. I want to learn as much as I can so I can be the boss, the big business owner not be stuck in the rat race working for them man. I have taken every bit of knowledge I have from school, college, life experience and started my own company. I am putting knowledge to work for me and taking action for a better life. I strive for more knowledge everyday not so I can be smart or use big words in a conversation, but so I can take action and produce results.

Robert Frost said “Two roads diverged in a wood, and I- I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.” It is as true today as it was a hundred years ago. It may not always be easy; we may not know what awaits us around the bend, success or failure. At least I believe in myself and took action unafraid of failure. I've made the choice to take the path less traveled, and oh what a ride!