Saturday, February 25, 2017

Do you know how to fish?

Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day, teach a man to fish and he'll eat for a lifetime. I'm so frustrated trying to teach people to fish who just want to play with their little worm all day.

If you want to be somebody, if you want to go somewhere, if you want to escape this rat race of life you better wake up and pay attention because this world meets nobody half way.

If your not willing to be present, put fourth your best effort and listen to people who know more than you be prepared to live your life as it is day to day paycheck to paycheck always wanting more, expecting more and being unhappy.

If you aren't willing to take risks, make mistakes, fail and then learn from those experiences you will not move forward in life.

If your not willing to do for yourself don't expect someone else to do it for you. I've learned this life is so much more than what you have, the car you drive, size of your bank account etc... its more about what you do for others, what you endure, what you learn and ultimately what you leave behind when your gone. I hope when my days are done people will say I did more and cared more about my fellow man than I did for myself.

I want to briefly say thank you to the people in my life who have shaped my morals, values, beliefs and strengthened my faith. Those who taught me the value of a hard days work, what it means to be trustworthy, loyalty, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent. Those who toughened me up, physically, mentally and emotionally. Those who believed in me, loved me and have forgiven me for my trespasses. I am the man I am today because of you and I will continue to live this life in that manner each and everyday the good lord see fit to bless me with another day.

I am and always will be my brothers keeper

Jeremy M. Edwards

Monday, December 3, 2012

Course Evaluation

Well I'm pretty sure my self evaluation touched on how I feel about this class and how important it has been for me. I was very surprised at how easy this course was for me considering my apprehensions about it.
I thought it would be tough to write so many papers, but I'm unhappy it is almost over.

I feel as though knowledge is never wasted with that said I feel this class was well worth my time and money. This class has boosted my self-confidence and helped me put some demons to bed.

I don't have anything bad to say about this class other then I would like more options to write about. I'm glad that I had Goldfine as my instructor for this class and have told other EMCC students to take this class with him.

I would not change anything about of with this class. I also have no advice for Goldfine as he is the instructor and I am the student. He taught and I learned.

During this class I wrote several pieces that I liked and non that I hated. I don't think I have ever been able to say that before. My second favorite piece was the one I wrote about my wife Amy and the day we were married. She is my everything and writing that piece reaffirmed how much I love her. She read it and gave me a big old kiss. I also got a nice complement from another student on that one.

reaction to my essays and grafs. Graft #20

When I started this class I was not very happy because I had previously taken an essay writing class at Keene State College and I thought that credit should transfer. I was not a big fan of writing and always had a rough time with English classes. I was totally overwhelmed at first with the thought of writing over 25 papers for this class.

 The writing assignments started off small and were all about us and our backgrounds. I liked these assignments a lot and found it to be a great way to ease into writing papers. We moved on into more in depth grafs and then into full 5 paragraph essays. These were a little harder, took more time, and needed preparation. I was very happy with all of my Essays. I feel that all of my papers were a direct reflection of myself and my views. I really liked taking my personal experiences and putting them down on paper for me to relive and for others to enjoy. I think during this class I found a since of peace with my writing, and was able to better develop my writing as well.

The piece I am most proud of was the object paper where I wrote about my PEPE. I still have in my possession his last drivers licence. With this item in hand I wrote all about him and my memories of him. It was the piece I'm most attached to and spent the most time on. This is mostly because I spent as much time crying my eyes out as I did writing.

The other piece that I'm in love with is the place paper I wrote about my wife and the day we wed. This piece is important to me because other than my children she is the most important person in my life and I'm so happy that God chose to bless me with her as my wife.

The only paper I have left to submit is my final draft of my I-search which I am very happy with. I find myself here in the last week or so of classes and for the first time in my college career actually looking forward to our final paper. I have found joy in what I once despised (writing) and I have Mr. Goldfine to thank for that. It may sound corny or like I'm kissing ass, but unlike most people I know I find extreme joy in overcoming my fears, and short comings. So all I have left to say is Thank You!  

Division Essay

I'm Going Home

I grew up in a small town in New Hampshire and often go back to visit friends, attend events, and to remember the old days. It is a long drive to Keene and for this reason I don’t go back there very often, but when I do find a reason to make the trip I Divide my trip into three parts. Each part is marked by a change in the road and a change in emotion. The first section is I-95 accompanied by anxiety. Section two is the N.H highways and a peaceful feeling. Section three brings on the back roads and a nostalgic feeling.
I've got my bags packed and can’t wait to take my wife Amy to my old stomping grounds where I grew up. Naturally I've been sitting in the truck for twenty minutes waiting for Amy to finish her final inspection of the house and her tenth review of the instructions to be left for our parents who will be watching the house while we are gone.  Finally we hit the road only twenty minutes behind schedule. I turn onto I-95 South and put the hammer down in a macho attempt to make up for lost time. The road is smooth and straight for the next 2.5 hours as we make our way down the boring Maine Turnpike. I can’t drive fast enough at this point to suit my soul so I turn on the I-pod. Instantly a continuous medially of rock n roll and heavy metal music floods the truck.  I look over at Amy and see her singing along and decide to join in as well. “Highway to the danger zone, I’m gonna take you right into the danger zone”. Without even knowing it we are hauling ass and making up time. “Jeremy stop at the Gardiner rest stop so I can pee.” The warden demands. One pee break down and a fresh cup of coffee later and we are back on the road listening to Billy Joel remind us that he didn’t start the fire. Soon we blow through Portland and though the coast. At this point I’m so anxious to get to Keene I’m physically shaking, on second thought it could be the four cups of coffee or the three lanes of traffic going 90 MPH. Soon we come to the big green bridge as I called it as a kid and finish up our first leg of the trip.

Once over the N.H state line I strip my seat belt off and sit up straight in my seat. Amy looks over at me and says “Why did you take off your seatbelt?” “In N.H we live free or die” I reply. She laughs at me and states “well you’re a Mainer now dumbass.”  We pull up, pay the toll and head into the heart of N.H. Here the road changes, you can tell that much more care is put into every mile. The tar is a dark black color and the yellow lines are bright. The foliage is beautiful and the mountains are breath taking. All along I-93 and I-89 are big beautiful boulders that were blasted many years ago to make way for the roads we travel today. I love the big pieces of granite that have been carved out. These roads are much more peaceful and fun to travel then I-95. At this point in the trip I start spouting off old stories about hunting and fishing in N.H. I tell my wife of all the fun I’ve had in this wonderful state. Soon we hit exit #5 off of I-89 and make our way towards Keene.

Once off of I-89 we continue the trip on the back roads of N.H. This is my favorite part of the trip driving through all of the little towns and looking at all the shops. I don’t even need to look at the road to know where I’m going, I’ve been over these roads hundreds of times and it seems like my truck knows exactly where to go. We pass Granite Lake and make our way through Hillsboro and all of a sudden I can see myself jumping of that old wooden dock right into the lake. I pass the old ice cream stand and instantly taste a hint of chocolate chip. Now the road starts to get bumpy and very curvy as we follow the river closer and closer to Keene. All I can think about are my days at KHS working in shop class, the texture of the football field, the late night parties and mud runs. Now my I-pod starts to play my country selections and it is quite fitting as I’m about to enter the city limits of Keene. I play my welcome home song “ I’m going home” as we pull onto West street and head toward my best friend Seth’s house on Main street. I've got my arm hanging out of my window singing "I'm going home to a place were I belong". We make our way around the common in the center of town and pull into the drive way. Now my cell starts to ring of the hook with countless friends from school wanting to know “hey was that you I just saw on Main Street?” Now I know I’m home and the journey is over.

It doesn't matter how many times I make this trip or who I bring to town I always feel the same way when I reach my destination. Who says you can’t go home?

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Process essay timed

The most disgusting and vile creatures I have had to deal with in my life are my wife's two cats Merlin and Ginger! I know what your thinking how can two soft, furry little kitties be so bad. Well the one thing in this world I hate the most is cat piss and you never know where your going to find it. Unfortunately for me I have found it almost everywhere you could imagine. Cats are also impossible to figure out, one minute they want some love and the next they are clawing the shit out of your leg. When you toss them out of your second story window they will just land on their feet and look up at you with a smug look as if to say" ha ha asshole nice try". When you let them outside they just hang around the garage and poop on your tool bench and sooner or later the wife will hear them whine and let them back in asking the whole house "who let the cats out?". I find it best to stay on their good side as difficult as it may be. There are three things I do on a daily basis in hopes of making these two snobs happy. I check their restroom, I give them food,water, and just a little bit of love followed by my secret weapon.

Upon arriving home from work I take a moment to pray that the monsters who occupy the second floor have not peed on anything since I left for work. I briefly go over my battle plan in my head and then make the terrifying journey up stairs to confront my fate. I check the laundry room for signs of pussy and then make my way into my office. After checking the office I head to check point two the master bedroom. After clearing check point two and finding no trace of cat urine I can abandon operation kill the fur ball and report for clean up duty. Once in the master bathroom home to the feline's potty I fire up the cat scoop and proceed to execute operation toxic waste removal. With my gas mask firmly attached or my t-shirt pulled up high enough to cover my nose, I clean out any clumps the dynamic duo have left behind. My next step is to add just a cup full of fresh cat litter to the box. Once I have completed the mission charlie comes in and starts dropping bombs in the freshly cleaned cat box. God for bid it stays clean for two seconds, but at least they are happy and going in the box instead of my clean laundry basket!

While the cats are polluting the cat box I move onto step two, the dealing out of their daily rations. Both Merlin and Ginger get two scoops of Seafood delight. I always feed Merlin first, and his food must go into the blue bowl. Ginger goes next because she is the younger sister and her food must be placed in the pink bowl that displays her name. My wife insists that they each need their own food bowl even though each one has two sides. Neither one of her cats will drink water from the other side of their bowl. Water and food can not be that close to each other I guess it must be a cat thing because my dogs don't give a dam as long as they get their food and water. I could mix the two and they still would be happy. Next I proceed to the watering hole or the bathroom sink which ever you prefer. Like I said they wont drink from their bowls so I must fill the sink with fresh water. The felines don't even drink right for god sake they dip their front paw into the water and then lick it off. So weird. After the feeding both cats expect me to put them through an exhausting PT session. The session lasts for about five minutes and then they must hit the head and report to the barracks (my bed) for lights out. Once they have had there fill of playing and being loved I get a break from cat duty.

After a few hours of R&R the flea bags are full of piss and vinegar. I know because this is usually when they get me via a sneak attack. All of a sudden I can feel sharp claws through my slippers as I send them flying across the room. The bad part of this is they come right back after me with a relentless attack and I'm forced to either stay and fight or retreat back down stairs to the safe zone. Back at the HQ or the kitchen I prepare for war restocking my supplies (sneakers, water bottle, laser pointer) and prepare the secret weapon. Sometimes I even call on my allies (my son Nathan and daughter Maria) for support. I hump it back in about three clicks and unleash hell spraying my water bottle like a machine gun. With my enemies subdued I usually have enough time to deploy my secret weapon CAT NIP or as I call it kitty weed. One taste of the kitty weed and these hairballs are putty in my hand.

I stand over my fallen enemies victorious and I know I have won the battle, but tomorrow is another day and there will be more battles to fight. As long as I have my battle plan and a heavy supply of kitty weed the war will remain within my grasps or at the very least the cats will remain happy for another day and my clothes will remain pee free.

Monday, November 19, 2012

Effect Essay

On November 19th 2005 my son Nathan L. Edwards was born 6 pounds 11 ounces and 20 inches long. Seven years ago today I had no idea what a profound impact he would have on me and my life. How could a newborn baby change a man so much, even help him? Well having my little man has effected me in so many ways. Some of the ways I have been effected by the birth of my son are: I grew up, my priorities changed, and I began to understand why my parents were the way they were.

At twenty-two years old I was a young hell raising son of a gun with no responsibilities. I could go out when ever I wanted, drink all day and night, and spend every last dime I had on whatever I wanted. My young bride and I could make love til the sun came up and went down again. All of that changed in the blink of an eye, the day my baby boy was born. I found myself coming home early and staying in on Saturday night just to be with him not wanting to miss a thing. Cracking open beer cans turned into warming up baby bottles. Partying all night turned into rocking him to sleep all night. Spending all my money on crap turned into working overtime to pay for diapers and formula. Some people say that a boy becomes a man when a man is needed, it was my time to be that man because my wife and brand new baby needed me.

When Nate was born my wife, son Patrick, and I all lived in a small two bedroom trailer in Eddington. It was a good place, but not where I wanted to raise our new family. I was working for a big company making good money, but they did not care at all about me or my family. I took a new job that would bring in more money for my family and provide better opportunities for my family. As a result I was able to spend more time with my growing family. I traded in our small fast compact car for an SUV with more seating, four wheel drive, and more safety. We built a large home out in the country for extra security and more room for the kids to play not to mention we were no longer right on route nine. I started putting money into a retirement fund and saving for his college education. My path had once again changed and I believe for the better.

When I was a kid I never could figure out why mom and dad always had to know where I was going, who I was going with, when I would be back, and weather or not anyone's parents would be home. I did not understand why I had to save my money or why I could not have all the new toys the other kids had. Why was is so important that I eat a good breakfast and all my vegetables at dinner. "Do your homework before you go out and play" mom would tell me. "But mom I'll do it later" would be the reply. "Don't stand to close to the t.v", "go outside that dam video game is going to rot your brain".  I never in a million years would have thought that I would be repeating the words of my parents one day. Today my wife and I can be heard saying most of these lines and many others from our childhood. We do it because we love our kids, want them to be safe, and grow up to be good, responsible citizens. My mother and I talk about stuff like this now that I'm older and have kids. She loves to hear my go on about some of this stuff, she smiles and says to me now you know how we felt raising you and your brother. Mom always said what goes around comes around I guess she was right. Today I understand all to well what I put her through and all I can say is I'm sorry and I'm glad I got blessed with the parents I have.

I am so thankful for all of my children, I don't think there is anything better then having kids although my mother said to me the other day oh yes there is Grand kids! All I know is when you have kids everything else  moves to second place even your spouse. Kids are the only ones who will give unconditional love and deserve it in return. It is our duty as parents to teach them, protect them, and most importantly to love them. To Nathan, Patrick and my Maria thank you for making me a daddy and I'm so very proud to be your daddy I love you.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Process Essay draft #1

Another Day in Paradise

Like many people I know I often find myself saying "There just isn't enough time in the day to get everything done". I have a day planner that I carry with me everywhere and everything that I need to get done each day is logged in it. This is the only way I can get through the day without saying "I wish I had more time to get everything done". Everyday for me starts off the same way, my alarm goes off, I get up, go work out, and take a shower. The middle part of the day is broken down into three main parts: Work, Family, School and if I stick to my plan I get almost everything done that I need to get done each day. Like the beginning of my day starts the same way so does the end. Right before bed I brush my teeth, take a leak, and then try to seduce my wife into making love to me, this is my favorite part of the day! 

The first part of my day starts at 6 am as my cell phone plays Knockin On Heavens Door by Gun's n Roses, waking me from my sleep. I drag myself out of bed and head for the weight room, nothing gets the blood flowing in the morning like hitting the weights and listening to some tunes. I kiss my sleeping beauty on the forehead and wish I could fast forward the day so I can be back in bed with her. Soon I'm off to Unity to manage the day to day operations of my families grocery store. I love my 35 minute ride to work listening to Fox News catching up on the daily gossip and whats happening in the world. As soon as I walk through the front door everyone seems to get busy working as if the cat has come back home and the mice must now stop playing. I always head into the break room for my morning cup of coffee and then to the back room to get everyone motivated. Five or six hours of the customer always being right, stocking freight, and listening to the normal associate groins sends me right back out the front door wishing all the while I could be curled up with my baby, but for this cat there is still more to be done. I head over to the post office, accountant or run miscellaneous errands that need to be done. At this point I feel like I should get some lunch so my stomach will shut, but really who has time for lunch, not this cat. I'm off to job number two to check in on my investment properties, collect rents, mow the lawn or fix that leaky sink. I get excited when i'm at the apartment house because now i'm working for myself, i'm the boss. Having completed my "jobs" I can kiss the first part of the day goodbye as I get closer to ending my day and spending some time with the wife.

I pull the truck into my driveway and instantly switch gears from businessman to family man. My two stupid dogs run out of the garage to greet me. I wish dogs could talk because I know these dumb asses are thinking  dads home get the ball gotta get the ball. Ha ha here's the ball come on throw the ball come on throw the ball awwwh he threw the ball!!!! Inside my little princess Maria is awaiting my arrival so I can pick her up and she can touch the ceiling. "Uppie uppie" she says as we complete our routine. Once uppie time is over I must run the gantlet with the boys. They love to wrestle with me and practice their karate skills or some new move they learned from the Power Rangers. I get a welcome home kiss from the misses and my mind instantly races to all the fun we could have if the kids would just run up the road to their grand parents house. Usually pasta is whats for dinner in this house since mamma is an Italiano. Oh how I love the smell of her homemade sauce simmering on the stove with big chunks of meatball and sausage. After dinner I make sure each of our three kids has a bath, brushes their teeth and is safely tucked into bed. As I feed the dogs dinner I often silently thank God for blessing me with such a wonderful family. At this point my tummy is full and I can hear my sleep number bed calling my name" Jeremy you are getting sleepy". "I wish I could go to sleep ass hole, but I got to much to do" I mutter to myself. Making my way to my office past my bed I know that I'm two thirds of the way through my day.

It is now that I must slug down an energy drink in hopes of mustering up enough energy to complete my school work. Crap another essay to complete for Goldfine and accounting for Dr.D I might never get to sleep. Soon the words are flowing and my fingers are typing away. I feel an unusual release of tension as I complete my homework. One word after another, sentence after sentence, and then a completed graf or essay. I hope Goldfine will approve of this piece and Doritty will give another passing grade. Did I do the best I could, will I pass this class. My head fills with doubt and I can feel the tension building as my energy drink wears off. Reviewing my calendar I can see that I have completed the days tasks and fear that tomorrow will yet again be more of the same.

I crawl into bed after brushing my teeth and with a sigh say goodbye to the day hoping that god will bless me with tomorrow. I find peace not in how much I got done during the day, but rather what I did during the day. I have provided for my family, spent quality time with my loved ones, and attempted to enhance my future. Now there is only one thing left to do so I give my wife a nudge nudge and a wink wink and turn out the lights.  IT'S JUST ANOTHER DAY IN PARADISE!!