My Friends
As I look back over the last 30 years I can recall many good
times with my friends, playing on the playground in Elementary school. Riding
bikes and chasing girls in Jr. High School. In high school it was sports,
parties and girls. College was about drinking and smoking everything we could
get our hands on. After college it was working, buying a house and starting a
family. Every memory I think of has a friend attached to it. Looking
at those friendships I can see three distinct types of friends. There were my
needy friends, my good friends, and my best friends.
The Needy Friend:
These are the friends that call you up at three in the morning and want you to
bail their ass out of jail because they got to rowdy at the bar, but are too
afraid of calling the folks or the wife. These people want to be your friend
because you have something that they need or want and they know you will give
it to them. I find these friends to be
the hardest ones to get rid of, especially when what they need is a friend
because no one else will give them a chance.
When I was young my needy friends
were Michael and Tom. They always wanted to come to my house because mom had
snacks in the house. They wanted to play my Nintendo and play with my
toys. “Can I use your bike” or “can your
mom take us to the Ninja Turtles movie?” In Jr. High they wanted me on their
team because I was a better athlete. “Can I borrow five bucks” or “can I copy
your math homework?” In High school it was Chris and Joey that were the needy
friends. They would ask me for rides to school or too a party. “Can I borrow
twenty bucks I’ll pay you back.” or my favorite “Hey bro, ask Jessica if she
will go to the movies with me.” In
college Dan was my only needy friend. He would ask me to get him beer or once a
job. “Jeremy buddy I’m a little short
this week can you help me out?” “Can you get me into the Bear Brew?” Now, ten years later the needy ones want me
to take their trash to the dump or want to borrow the lawn mower. “Can you watch the kids tonight”? “Can you
help me clean out the garage before the wife gets home”? Starting to sound familiar yet?
The Good Friend: These
are the guys you call at three in the morning to bail you out of jail when you have
gotten to rowdy at the bar and refuse to call the folks or the wife. These are
the guys that probably got you arrested in the first place. These are fun
people to hang out with and are of the same circle. These friends come and go
all the time depending on what stage of life you’re in. I have found that these
friends are the most fun to hang out with.
I've had a lot of these “good friends” over the years, Brett, James, Jeff, and a
host of others. We went mudding in the woods, camping, hunting, and fishing. We
all rode together in the same limo to the prom, played ball on the same team,
and cut class together. We talked all
night and relived the good old days at our high school reunion. Today “my good friends” are Scott, Brian, and
Mike. We take the kids to the park and have family bbq’s together. Friday night
is usually poker night unless its hockey season and we are at the rink. We have
drinks together and talk about our other halves. We talk about the present, the
future and all the crazy shit we did before we knew one another. We go on trips out of state, go to concerts at
the water front, and sporting events together. “Hey man want to grab a brew
after work tomorrow”? “Do you want me to help you split that cord of wood on
Saturday”? Sounds like a good friend doesn't it?
The Best Friend: These
are the guys sitting next to your ass in jail at three a.m. saying things like “she didn't look like no
cop did she?” These guys usually have
been your friend for as long as you can remember. They are the ones who know
your deepest, darkest secrets. Like the time I got caught skinny dipping in the
neighbor’s pool with Shay. They are the ones you trust to have your back and
the ones whose back you have. They are
the friends that were always there for you, are still here for you, and will
always be there for you.
In
grade school Seth and Ben were my best friends and today 25 years later not
much has changed. We started cub scouts together and received our Eagle Scout
badges together. In Jr. High we all had
Mr. Smith for math class and entertained each other in detention. In high
school we were football teammates. Seth was the right tackle, Ben left guard,
and I left tackle, a line to be feared the paper said. In the fall we were teammates yet again on
the wrestling mat, Seth at 215, Ben at 152, and I at 189 a trio of
champions. In the summers we all worked
together at Elegant Settings, setting up wedding tent, parking cars, and
catering. At night we could be found mudding in the woods, drinking beer or
playing pool, but always the three amigos.
In college we were separated, but only by a phone call. They were the
best men at my wedding and the first to congratulate my wife and I when our
first child Nathan was born. I was in Ben’s wedding and will be in Seth’s next
June. When I lost a loved one and could hardly stand they held me up and were
the ones who made me laugh again. When it was time to throw down I knew they
were right behind me. Best friends or as we would say and often do “Country
boys forever”. This is a friendship that
has stood the test of time and I have been blessed to have not one, but two of
the best friends on the planet, thanks guys.
In this paper I set out to classify
the friends I've had and have in my life.
We can all identify which of our friends fall into each of these
categories, but somewhere I lost sight of the most important friend of all The Soul Mate: The one person whose
life matters more than your own, the one person who makes you whole, the one
person who stands beside you even when you’re wrong. She is the one who has
seen you at your worst and knows all about your best. I married mine eight years ago and I hope you
all meet yours one day.
I was very amused to see the different way you played the jail at 3 am thing in the support grafs--of course, I missed the Soulmate connection, though perhaps the connection is that when you have a soulmate you no longer care to do anything that would put you in jail at 3 am.
ReplyDeleteYou begin each of those support grafs in the second person and then switch to first. That is very effective, first in drawing the reader in in a general way and then in following through with the personal material.
Very pleased to take this.
Thanks I think when you find that soulmate you would rather be doing other things instead of sitting in jail am I right? After your comments on the sex intros I was not sure what I wanted to write about and I thought of the weekend I had just spent with my two best friends at Seth's brothers benefit. His older brother who was like my older brother growing up broke his neck. Now he is paralized from the breast line down. We were helping raise money for his rehab in hopes of getting him walking again. At the benefit I saw a lot of people that I new. Some of the needy people I used to be friends with, a lot of good friends from the past and of course Seth and Ben my two best friends. I just put my feelings of friendship down on paper.
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